Week 5 Story: The Nightingale and the Rose
Nightingale: Source
It had been raining for a week straight, and the nightingale's babies were in constant distress due to the pouring rain. Their nest was made of wooden sticks, and those sticks kept getting wet and uncomfortable to the baby birds. The nightingale wanted to do something to help her children, so she started to look for more materials to make a cozier nest. This is when the nightingale came across the Rustic's garden and the beautiful rose pedals.
The nightingale carefully fled over the Rustic's rose garden and started to take pedals of the roses, one by one. She would do this every single night when she knew the Rustic was asleep and would not find her. On one night where she went again, it started to rain very hard. She could not fly and carry the pedals at the same time, and they fell! She decided that she would go back to get the rose pedals in the morning.
The Rustic saw the rose pedals scattered around the floor and was enraged. His plan was to capture whoever was doing this and give them no mercy for vandalizing his precious rose bush. The rustic stood in his garden, hidden, to see who would do this. The nightingale went that morning and kept a look out for the Rustic. When she didn't see him in sight, she started to tear off some more rose pedals. The rustic sneakily trapped the nightingale and brought her in his home!
The nightingale was worried about her children, and tried to talk the Rustic out of capturing her and tried to guilt him into letting her go. Her plan worked. The Rustic let her go and as a reward, she told him where a pot of gold was located. She hoped that he would be satisfied with that and let her continue to get rose pedals from his garden.
Note: In the original story of the rustic and the nightingale, it gives no reason for why the nightingale would tear up the rose pedals. The rustic loved his garden and was very upset when he would find the pedals ruined and scattered on the ground. For this story, I wanted to incorporate the nightingale's reasoning for taking the rose pedals from the Rustic's garden.
Bibliography: The Tortoise and the Geese and Other Fables of Bidpai by Maude Barrows Dutton, with illustrations by E. Boyd Smith, 1908.
Hey Natalia, I really liked your take on this story, adding context about why the nightingale was tearing up the roses really added to the story, and me care about what happened to it and the babies. What if the rustic had some sentimental story about the roses too. Like if they got them from their long dead parents or something? That would probably add some tragicity to the story. Was the Rustic satisfied with the pot of gold, or did they value their roses because of some deeper meaning they had? A suggestion I have would be to explore more what the characters are thinking , for example, if the Nightingale had like thought dialogue throughout the story about how they were afraid for the babies that might help give more urgency to the story. Another thing could be adding some more information about the possible "friendship" or mutual understanding between the two characters. Like does the Rustic tolerate the bird or do they encourage the bird to take the petals now.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story and thought you added some key components to intrigue readers. For example I liked how you added context about certain characters like nighttale. Some things you could have added or questions I have would be character development. Would there be any ways to enhance the story? One suggestion I have for you is to add information about characters such as relationships or friendships. Overall I loved the story and think you did a really good job. I look forward to reading more of your work this semester.
Hi Natalia-
ReplyDeleteFor starters- I love the layout and background of this post. It fits so well with your story, and the combination of the writing, image and background really bring home the whole package. I liked your take on this story, and the detail you added to your own writing. I think giving the nightingale a purpose for tearing up the rose petals gives this story an interesting spin. I really liked how you kept most of the original- with just a small change, still making it your own story. I think the reason you chose also made a small difference in the character- making her a sweet and loving mother bird. The fact that she goes to get these rose petals for her baby birds makes this story sweet and tender, when it could have been perceived as greedy. I am really looking forward to reading your work in the future!